Barking Up The Wrong Tree (Such Is Life)

I love those great big blue eyes I love those laughter lines Round about where an ill wind blows That's where for me it shines And I have no inhibitions That I wish to put on If I did what would I inhibit A painting I've never done And such is life as Ned once said However let's be clear If you think that a noose round my neck Makes a happy man of me You're barking up the wrong tree And I hare those cold damp mornings Despite a good night's sleep Stepping out when it's still not light Feels like I should retreat And as for those glamour model types Who when they strut their stuff Look about as dressed as a naked chef Making his powder puff And while we're on the subject Where in God's name have you been I've been waiting around for hours If you think it's good for me You're backing up the wrong tree And to the idiots who say for tusks Killing elephants is not unjust Don't you wish a herd would come along And overrule them Can't for the life of me see How marksmen armed with guns Think a man with a table leg As threatening to either one And yet as marksmen surely Assuming as I've said That there is some doubt They must take him out Who do it in the head And such is life as Ned once said However let's be clear If barking mad's where you think I'm from Take a little tip from me You're barking up the wrong tree