Worthless Thing

How many times can you jump out of the cupboard Before someone gets suspicious or someone gets discovered You can live forever in a split second of fame Come on down the price is right what's your name While a crocodile makes good shoes and a dog may change his coat I can't change what's written on your face tonight and I quote Oh I wish you could see Quite how much you could mean to me You worthless thing If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome I might pay this king's ransom You worthless thing They commit blue murder along Union Avenue Then they sell you souvenir matches Nightclubs full of grave robbers from Memphis Tennessee And Las Vegas body snatchers And he's carrying a warning can't you see how his eyes glint Keep your bloody hands off my life your affectionate fingerprint Oh I wish you could see Quite how much you could mean to me You worthless thing If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome I might pay this king's ransom You worthless thing All the cars and pills and girls who tore his shirt to tatters Do you know how tall he was 'cos that is all that really matters Do you know his mother's last name do you think that he's divine You've seen the film you've read the book You're drinking Vintage Elvis Presley wine Bored out of your tiny mind while life is twice as large They'll cut her down to size on television She's available and beautiful but with more time to devote They're going to take this cable now and stick it down your throat So this is an obituary which should be right And fitting for every clockwork cat and conceivable kitten Oh I wish you could see Quite how much you could mean to me You worthless thing If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome I might pay this king's ransom You worthless thing Oh you worthless thing Oh you worthless thing