A Few Words In Defense Of My Country

I'd like to say a few words In defense of our country Whose people aren't bad Nor are they mean Now the leaders we have While they're the worst that we've had Are hardly the worst This poor world has seen Take the Caesars for example Within the first few of them They were sleeping with their sister Stashing little boys in swimming pools And burning down the city And one of 'em, one of 'em Appointed his own horse to be Consul of the Empire That's like vice president or something Wait a minute, that's not a very good example is it But wait, here's one The Spanish Inquisition It put people in a terrible position I don't even like to think about it Well sometimes I like to think about it Just a few words in defense of our country Whose time at the top Could be coming to an end We don't want your love And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question But times like these We sure could use a friend Hitler Stalin Men who need no introduction King Leopold of Belgium, that's right Everyone thinks he's so great Well he owned The Congo and he tore it up too He took the diamonds He took the silver He took the gold You know what he left them with Malaria A President once said The only thing we have to fear is fear itself Now, we're supposed to be afraid It's patriotic in fact and color coded And what are we supposed to be afraid of Why of being afraid That's what terror means, doesn't it That's what it used to mean You know it kind of pisses me off That this Supreme Court is going to outlive me A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now, too But I defy you, anywhere in the world To find me two Italians as tightassed as the two Italians we got And as for the brother, well Pluto's not a planet anymore either The end of an Empire is messy at best And this Empire is ending Like all the rest Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea We're adrift in the land of the brave and the home of the free Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye