The Hammer

Look at these trophies See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight See how they shine What do you think it took to become English Hammer-Throwing Champion 1969 Do you think in that moment When my big moment came That I treated the rules With casual disdain Well Like hell As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan Hmm What As I chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands I did not As I started my spin, did I look at the view Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation Do you think I altered my intended elevation As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt From the grunt I had practised for many a month Not a jot Not a dot did I stray from the plot Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten Not even when the hammer left my hands And sailed high up, up above the stands Did I let myself go No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no If you want to throw the hammer for your country You have to stay inside the circle all the time And if you want to make the team You don't need happiness or self-esteem You just need to keep your feet inside the line Sing, children 2, 3, 4 If you want to throw the hammer for your country CHILDREN Bambinatum est magitum MISS TRUNCHBULL You have to stay inside the circle all the time CHILDREN Circulum magnum magnum MISS TRUNCHBULL And if you want to teach success You don't use sympathy or tenderness CHILDREN Tenderness MISS TRUNCHBULL You have to force the little squits to toe the line Sing, Jenny 2, 3, 4 MISS HONEY If you want to throw the hammer for your country CHILDREN Bambinatum Bambinatum Gloria magitum MISS HONEY You have to stay inside the circle all the time CHILDREN Circulum est deus Deus MISS TRUNCHBULL Apply just one simple rule To hammer-throwing, life, and school: Life's a ball, so learn to throw it Find the bally line and toe it And always keep your feet inside the line Now get out