That’s On Me

Is this just getting older? I can’t get away from this rain I’m starting to think that’s it’s me I wanna just create things But the longer it takes I feel drained Can’t remember a day I’ve been sober Not in a place to take blame Any more weight I might break Tell me do you feel the same Guess we all go the same way I’m in a bit of a mess here Count to 10 and hope to disappear I never did my homework Could I have been more than this Finding a way exist Within a world with no risk Forcing a shoe that won’t fit I spend most the day stoned and Making excuses for it Saying it helped to write this But on the real, I’m tight lipped Shooting a shot that I’ll miss And it’s so far from near Why the hell am I still here? This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride I know that it will be alright If it’s not, then we’re fucked aren’t we? I can’t help myself but cry Every time that I realise Maybe I’ll never find my smile Who’s to blame? Well that’s on me Now that the weather is colder Nothing is masking this pain The summer was here but won’t stay We are inside like all day Regretting the things that we say And it takes a toll yeah The conversation won’t end Being a rock for your friends Cracks on the surface don’t mend We only break we don’t bend And you’d think it was so clear But I can’t see nothing but the fear I’m feeling so bloated Thinking a salad won’t do Might as well open up two Locking myself in my room Hoping that this all ends soon And no one will notice What I will put myself through Coz they will hate themselves too Isn’t it mad what we do Pretending to win but just lose And it’s so far from near Why the hell am I still here? This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride I know that it will be alright If it’s not, then we’re fucked aren’t we? I can’t help myself but cry Every time that I realise Maybe I’ll never find my smile Who’s to blame? Well that’s on me Too many things on my mind To process moments of life There’s some days I lose my drive Then some can’t control the fire I’m aware that things take time But I’m not a patient guy Maybe if I wait I’ll find Resemblance of peace of mind But this is just getting older Running away from our past Knowing the calm it won’t last Being a mouse in this grass Feeling the snakes behind us I’m searching for closure But nothing is healing these scars When I open up they just laugh Saying if they had just half Then nothing would ever be dark Is it new me, new year? Or just the same old blue sphere This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride I know that it will be alright If it’s not, then we’re fucked aren’t we? I can’t help myself but cry Every time that I realise Maybe I’ll never find my smile Who’s to blame? Well that’s on me Well that’s on me Well that’s on me Well that’s on me