It's A Privilege To Pee

(Old Man Strong) Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning. (Bobby) He's my Pa, Ms. Pennywise. Can't he come in for free? Just this once? (Penny) Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free. Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya ya is gonna pay! (Old Man Strong) In the name of God, Penny, what difference could it make? (Penny) What difference?! "Times are hard." "Our cash is tight." "You've got no right." I've heard it all before. "Just this once." Is once too much, cause once they've onced. They'll want to once once more I run the only toilet in this part of town, you see. So, if you've got to go you've got to go through me. It's a privilege to pee. Water's worth its weight in gold these days. No more bathrooms like in olden days. You come here and pay a fee. For the privilege to pee. Twenty years we've had the drought. And our reservoirs have all dried up. I take my baths now in a coffee cup. I boil what's left of it for tea. And it's a privilege to pee. The politicians in their wisdom saw that there should be a law. The politicians taxed the toilets, and made illegal public urination and defecation. So, come and give your coins to me. Write your name here in the record book. The authorities will want to look if you've been regular with me, If you've paid the proper fee. For the privilege to pee. (Bobby) But Ms. Pennywise - (Penny) I said no buts, Bobby. You're a sweet lookin' boy and I likes to keep you around, but this main ain't comin' in without payin'. Not this time. (Old Man Strong) I can't wait much longer, Bobby. There's no tellin' what I might do! (Penny) You think you've got some kind of right? (The Poor) Kind of right, kind of right! (Penny) You think you'll come in here and go for free? (The Poor) Snag a freebie! (Penny) The only thing you'll get it "no" for free! (The Poor) Negatory! (Penny) I'm a business gal, you see (The Poor) Business gal you see! (Penny) I sell the privilege to pee! (The Poor) It's a privilege to pee. (Penny) The good lord made us so we'd piss each day until we piss away. The good Lord made sure that what goes in men must soon come out again. So you're no different then from lowly me. (The Poor) Me. Lowly me. Lowly me. Lowly me. Lowly me! (Bobby) But, Ms. Pennywise - (Old Man Strong) That's enough, Bobby. (Penny) And I think I'll charge you twice. (Old Man Strong) No need to jeopardize your position. (Penny) Or better yet, have you arrested. (Old Man Strong) I'm through with all this, you see. (Penny) Since you prefer the law gets tested. (Old Man Strong) Scrapin' cash three times a day. (Penny) And in Urinetown you'll see. (Old Man Strong) Crazy with the nitrates half the time. (Penny) Why it's dumb to fight with me. (Old Man Strong) It's no way to live, I tells ya. No way to live. (Penny) For the privilege to pee!