As A Rule

Now I'm not I repeat not anyway a prude But the sight of two people cavorting on stage Doing what can only be termed a natural act Is unless you wear a raincoat only good for a laugh As a rule I never smoke while on duty It just isn't on do I make myself clear Though at times if there nobody's looking I will I mean life's too short and if I didn't smoke I bet What with the luck that I have I'd probably die of warty and that would be that Who would have thought it was humanly possible To mate an elephant with a kangaroo Well as my dear old mother once said in a rage next thing you know they'll have pigs an the stage Whoever said blue skies were better than red Must have been talking from out of his hat I mean whose ever heard of a blue sky at night Don't like waiting or suffocating In over crowded tubes But I like good wine with my dinner don't you Yes we do