Funeral Pyre

I wake up with the same pain every night Digging a hatchet in my left side Clearing my chest of something to burn Ash for a decorative urn you keep on your mantelpiece Like a trophy for everything That withers eventually Call me a coward, but I'm too scared to leave 'cause I want you to be the last thing I see Call me a coward, but I'm too scared to leave Watched you pouring lighter fluid out onto the leaves And I would've loved you with the dying fire let you smother me down to the embers Frostbite turning my limbs as black as cinder of funeral pyre And I would have stayed if you asked me to Stood outside till my lips turn blue I wouldn't have blamed you For leaving me there on the porch while you drank gasoline 'cause it's what you needed so bad And it's true It's nothing that we could do