I've Never Been Short Of A Smile

As you know when the girl of your dreams Doesn't seem to exist If you want my opinion then here's what it is Don't tell your wife she'll kill ya And who knows maybe one day you'll wake up And walk to the door Where's she's waiting impatient this daughter of yours Saying give me away dad will ya Try proving suicide is painless And who are those that claim this The only way to die and to die again As I recall I entertain an empty hall Doesn't bother me in the slightest if a mirror's cracked It could be that a missing screw is all it lacked I'll walk under ladders but the funny thing is each time I do I go flying I've had moments when depression seemed the only cure Days when doubts were all about but now I'm sure Despite loosing battles that I know if I could win I've never been short of a smile As you know you can stand to attention while wiggling your toes It's a breach of the rules but in boots I suppose You could be forgiven As you go into work on a Sunday You hazard guess wasn't Sunday the one day We all used to rest I've never been short of smile You cannot have your cake and eat it But given a piece why keep it What purpose is being served If you leave it lying on a tray Only to be thrown away If invited to a party as a rule of thumb If there's not a kitchen in it I won't come I known that it's boring but at least you don't have to speak You just up the heat If there's one good thing about me then it ought to be Even when I'm up against adversity Despite my misgivings on the shape that I'm in I've never been short of a smile It's so easy to forget Every time you draw your breath Should be hung up on the wall A reminder to us all That however much we moan All our lives we've only one to live To be or not to be what is it About this phrase that gives it A meaning so profound That if Shakespeare were here today I bet he'd throw it all away Doesn't bother me the slightest if a cat is black It could be that a pot of paint had turned him that I'll walk under ladders but the funny thing every time I do I go flying I've had moments when depression seemed the only cure Days when I was burning up now I'm sure Despite my resentment of the pain I was in I've never been short of a smile