Illegitimate Children

She's getting' hammered On Alabama slammers Three drinks ago, no He wouldn't stand a chance He's sipping' whiskey Feelin' confident and frisky Writes 'Slow Hand' on a twenty And slips it to the band By the end of the first verse they're on the floor By the end of the song they're out the door Spirits are up inhibitions are down Same story's unfolding all over town From the barroom to the bedroom The path's weathered and worn This is how illegitimate children are born So it's his place or hers Whichover comes first They're all the way to second base In the back of the cab It's hard to resist that liquored up lust And it's easy to think it might be love When Strangers and slow songs Barstools and backeast Lead to bottles and babies Ask cabbies and barkeeps when This is how illegitimate children are born