Dr. Greenthumb (LP Version)

[a short skit opens the beginning of the song] Hello, I'm Dr. Greenthumb Have you ever had the problem of running out of weed and just can't find some anywhere? Well try my Dr. Greenthumb grow tips I'll show you how to grow inside and out From seed to clone, and the best homegrown And if you're afraid of those pesky pork choppers in the sky No worries, we'll fix them too with one of our Dr. Greenthumb 'Sizzlean' screens to block the nosy pig's vision Don't believe me? Just ask one of my many satisfied clients here Jed Sanders how well it works Hyuh, hyuh, hello mah name is Jaid And ahm a farmer and I've been growin mary-jah-wana fer about twenty years and uhh uhh, with Dr. Greenthumb's 'Sizzlean' screen I don't hafta point my shotgun at them pesky porkers no more Thanks Dr. Green, you're tha shit Yes, Dr. Greenthumb's got it all, I guarantee it Try my book and you'll have the chronic in no time *lighter flicks* Dial 1-800-713-GROW *inhaling noise* That's 1-800 *cough cough* *inhale* *lighter flicks* 713 *cough cough* G *inhale* R *inhale* O-W "Hello Dr. Greenthumb, paging Dr. Greenthumb!" [B-Real] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb I'd like to tell you just where I'm from In the hills where the trees grow wild with weed fields The fucking pigs with shields holding the blue steels Greenhouse effect with the weed connect (Doctor) DEA can't keep Greenthumb in check (Doctor!) HPS, God Bless the whole crop Please God, don't let me see no cops Trunkload, ready to hit the highway Don't let the eye in the sky fly my way or we gonna have big trouble, that's no shit Can't be growin without no permit but fuck that, I study the 215 trip That way when they come they can suck my dick Weed can't grow without attention Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb Chorus: [B-Real] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb! [B-Real] I'd like to tell you just where I'm from [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb [B-Real] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb! [B-Real] I'd like to tell you just where I'm from [SenDog] Aiyyo Dr. Greenthumb, come on back one time! [B-Real] People can't live without the herb man If not they'd be drinkin and drivin and swervin but thanks to Dr. Greenthumb weed grow in the backyard or inside with hydro To the cush plant brushin a tangerine dream Tasty, blowin a fuckin smokescreen Cycles of weed are constantly grown Somebody give me the razor to cut groves I'd like to stop, but it feels so good Horny plants stinkin up my whole neighborhood Sticky angel, I wanna leave it alone but never ever ever gotta worry from my home What that funny sound knockin at the door (Open up it's the DEA!) Sorry Greenthumb can't talk no more Please don't follow me into the sun Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb Chorus 1/2 [B-Real] Out from the lab, no need for rehab If I can't drive then call me a cab (ese!) In my closet the weed is dried out Like Eiht said, ain't no place to hide out I don't wanna buy no weed from no cop Get knocked up and they close up my shop That's why I buy no weed from no one That's why they call me Dr. Greenthumb The scientifical, mystical one Growin my crops with the rays of the sun Come one come all and see how it's done If you see the pigs there's no need to run Cause some of these pigs are down with Greenthumb But you never know what be the outcome You see the photo in the album The weed is growin like my erection Look I never told you where I was from Some call me Real, but I'm Dr. Greenthumb Chorus Dr. Greenthumb Doctor, your Bulova plant needs special tending to Doctor, we need more oxygen we need more CO2 Doctor, Dr. Greenthumb you're needed Doctor, dahyahahahhh... Doctor