Getting Older

I'm gettin' older I think I'm agin' well I wish someone had told me I'd be doin' this by myself There's reasons that I'm thankful there's a lot I'm grateful for But it's different when a stranger's always waitin' at your door Which is ironic 'cause the strangers seem to want me more Than anyone before Anyone before Too bad they're usually deranged Last week I realized I crave pity When I re-tell a story I make everything sound worse Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest I was still bein' ignored Lyin' for attention just to get neglection Now we're estranged Things I once enjoyed Just keep me employed now Things I'm longing for Someday I'll be bored of It's so weird That we care so much until we don't I'm gettin' older I've got more on my shoulders But I'm gettin' better at admitting when I'm wrong I'm happier than ever at least that's my endeavor To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure 'Cause to be honest I just wished the word I promised Would depend on what I'm givin' Not on his permission Wasn't my decision To be abused mm Things I once enjoyed Just keep me employed now Things I'm longing for mm Someday I'll be bored of It's so weird That we care so much until we don't But next week I hope I'm somewhere laughin' For anybody asking I promise I'll be fine I've had some trauma did things I didn't wanna Was too afraid to tell ya but now I think it's time