Survivors Guilt

I thought I was goin' crazy you know And like I realize that I wasn't the one that was crazy I realized that it's the system that was built against me you know And like I'm not supposed to be talkin' about this And that's the corruption of it because like me just saying it is absurd And I want people to open up their eyes and realize that I'm not wrong you know I-I'm I'm just a openminded individual and people should be more openminded If-If we tryna build up our lives to have material things And those don't satisfy our needs what are we living for Right right come on Alright This onе is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh This one is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh It's alright Steezy told mе Get 'em so I got 'em Got 'em Now my nigga gone he will never be forgotten Never Ever since he left I just been strugglin' without him Uh-huh 'Cause I remember linkin' after school and we'd be plottin' Plottin' Talk about our problems and what we do about 'em Yeah Journalin' and jottin' we ain't know the world was watchin' Facts We was just two kids tryna make it out the bottom Uh-huh Now I'm rich and rotten everyday I think about him it's survivors guilt Wishin' I coulda stopped him let alone just know how he feel Lyrically couldn't top him he was the nigga with the belt Uh-huh Yeah and that's real rap I couldn't do this shit without him and that's just fact You see if you ain't know Steelo then you don't know me though No And that's how I separate all the real from fake people Yeah Or the real from fake fans Uh-huh Who claimin' that they stans Uh-huh But they ain't know my mans No Until the very end wish he was still here I swear it feels weird how people could accuse me for his death Sometimes I gotta shed a real tear Tear You see the truth about Steelo he lacked the mental health He did But try to tell that to people way back in 2012 I can't But now that it's a mainstream topic I'm guessin' I can finally open up and talk about it So yeah let's talk about it Yeah Come into my mind I show you where the darkest cloud is You ready I doubt it but let's go You see Steelo was my bigger bro Uh-huh At a point in time spiritually we was in the same boat but I wanted to take it slow he wanted to take it as fast And deep as he could go pause Yeah we had some problems but we're brothers though sure Then I caught a little wave and headed back to shore And that's when he started drowning And he had no one around him so partially I feel it's my fault Hey And that right there is my internal war Uh-huh The reason why I got to feel these external flaws The reason why I can't heal this eternal loss The reason why I gotta feel the survivors remorse Shh And here's a message to his fam I know y'all got emotional trauma that I understand I understand But I couldn't fuck with y'all try to tell the world I wasn't who I am When all I ever tried to do was lend a hand That wasn't cool And give the fans the thing that they demand the most King Capital the fucking GOAT word I'm just tryna get my nigga heard give him what he deserves This one is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh This one is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh It's alright Yeah and R I P my cousin Junior B R I P Y'all ain't know too much about him so it's up to me It's up to me To share his legacy with the world It kills me to think he'll never meet my baby girl Shh And when I lost Jun' that hurt me in the worst way Worst way He even died two days before his birthday His birthday Damn that brings tears to my eyes My nigga really never made it up to twenty-five Damn That's why I'm thanking God every time I open my eyes Uh-huh Add the fact that we alive and we feelin' these vibes Vibes 'Cause we be fillin' these voids part of me got destroyed Facts When I lost my boys it's like I lost my voice Uh-huh It took me all of this time just to put it in a song Song Because I'm still dealin' with the fact my niggas is gone Yeah Write they names up on the clouds 'cause that's where they belong Uh-huh As long as I live on they'll forever be known this one for you This one for- yeah This one is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh Long as you'll forever be know this one's for you This one is for you uh-huh This one is for you Is for you for you for you ooh Yeah I'm off to- I'm off to Deliani Deli Honest So I'ma make this quick you know Pass the black lip back on that shit True story look so I'm in New York my first time One of my first times that I'm I'm playin' my-my one of my first albums for the big homie and he got these kids in there they just on skateboards I'm like Yo this super cool this this guy got the kids out here you know keepin' the kids off of the streets right So fast forward a year later I go back to New York and then I meet this kid he's like Yeah man I don't know if you remember me me and my homies the Pro Era Crazy I was like Oh yeah wha-what's your name He said Capital STEEZ I said Oh okay fosho Fast forward my boy Doe called me Doe Burger Ahaha That nigga called me and say Yo you heard these kids the Pro Era Joey Bada$$ I'm like Yeah yeah I met the kid Capital STEEZ they crazy Fast forward another year or so I'm on tour with Joey We been fourty-seven ever since man we got that shit tatted on us man for life man Tryin' to show the move man you know Everything come back around full circle you know what I mean