Where The Hell Have You Been

You know my inside pockets Got my outside twin So badly indisposed I think I'll dust my bin And all the while you're making eyes at me You could be doing something useful Like climbing up a tree Who knows there may be something lurking Like a koala bear All the way from down under But don't ask me where And on the subject of Australia Did you know some wives Don't mind when their husbands Get home at night Know what I mean Every time I get home late My wife says where the hell have you been Oh Helen do be careful lying in the sun Don't mind what you take off Long as you've something on And all the while You give the neighbors a thrill You could be doing something useful Like climbing up a hill Okay so hills do not agree with you Then try one that's flat Surely there's no better way That's better than that And on the subject of alternatives Did you know some guys Don't mind when their girlfriends Get home at night Oh what a dream If I'm just a minute late My wife says where the hell have you been And all the while you're making eyes I see You could be doing something useful Like climbing over me Now then there's nothing to be frightened of I won't let you fall Dare I say it I just hope That you'll be enthralled And on the subject of enthrallment Do you know some wives Don't mind when their husbands Come home at night Know what I mean Every time I get home late Mine says where the hell have you been