King of the Silver Screen

By day I'm a workin' man layin' bricks or layin' pipe I don't stand out in a crowd just look like one of the guys Little do they know when I'm alone in bed at night I become the King of the Silver Screen I stare at the ceiling there I know where I belong I two step with Fred Astaire or fighting old King Kong I can be any hero at all Zorro or Don Juan I know I'm the King of the Silver Screen Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind I could've been Valentino if I was born in another time I might be solving a case or swinging from a tree Share a joke with Crosby and Hope we're such good friends, you see Even dazzle the Academy with my versatility 'Cause I'm the King of the Silver Screen Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind I could've been Errol Flynn if I was born in another time I could've been a star I could've been a star I could've played that part But Hollywood movies keep flashin' before my eyes I could've been Greta Garbo if I was born in another time I wake the very next day go on back to work I'm just a face in a crowd another average jerk And all the guys on the building site look at me flirt Because I'm the Queen of the Silver Recitation Yes, I'm the Queen of the Silver Screen I admit it to all my fellow workers I don't care any more I'm tired of closets I'm gonna eat my makeup for lunch today Just stop hittin' me again All right guys I'm going to Hollywood to be a starlet I know I'm 240 pounds and play center for the Detroit Lions I don't care any more I like makeup and dresses and Hollywood I'll make somebody a great little wife Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn