Stand Up Guy

Brew the coffee in a bucket Double straight man and banjo If you don't got the snake oil Buster, you don't got a show In our pockets Keeps the party going on? Who puts the doh-re-me It's the man Who sells the potions I'm just one who plays the songs Now they generally buys The bigger size They usually rub it in I drank it once, it tasted Like grease and paraffin It's mostly alcohol, okay You can't deny it's strong We was going through the motions 'Til the doctor came along There stands the bottle Ladies and gentlemen All these bottles Don't have to tell you, friends These days miracles Don't come falling from the sky Raise your glasses to the doctor To a stand up guy When the monkeyshine is flying And he's promising the cure He says the french For your lovesick blues La maladie d'amour He gets the chumps all laughing But he gets a few to buy Here's to beefsteak When you're hungry And whiskey when you're dry Now the band'll blow their moolah Like sailors gone ashore Now we're going to west helena To gamble, drink and whore Let's you and me All make whoopee Here's mud in your eye Here's to all the gals you ever want And heaven when you die There stands the bottle Ladies and gentlemen All these bottles Don't have to tell you, friends These days miracles Don't come falling from the sky Raise your glasses to the doctor To a stand up guy There's a big cheese with a cigar Been sizing up the show He wants to get the doctor Pitching on the radio I will make a switch to guitar But the rules all still apply They want to trust somebody Yeah, they want a stand up guy There stands the bottle Here's to absent friends All these bottles Dead soldiers in the end These days miracles Don't come falling from the sky Raise your glasses to the doctor To a stand up guy To the doctor A stand up guy