It Never Rains But It Pours

Hey little baby you act like I'm crazy Walking around in my sleep Well if I knew it why on earth would I do it I've other appointments to keep In my sleep Spare me the drama you slipped on a banana After you'd eaten the skin How could you do it are you really that stupid Knowing that there was a bin you could put it in Of course being a Monday would be the one day Trains are delayed by the score And it never rains but it pours Mine's not due for a week Would you believe it our Adam and Eve skit Didn't go quite as we'd planned Leaves we were using both of our choosing Fell off and so we got banned Could have used a hand Heart has been broken credit card stolen Off licence closing its doors And it never rains but it pours Why I've no idea But if you want romance Then here's a good tip leave all expletives behind And as for the men maybe they should try Giving flowers from time to time Call me a loser cos I didn't choose her Call me a fool if you like Sure she was pretty but when she said hit me That kind of gave me a fright As well it might A word from Head Office there being no profits We have to show you the door And it never rains but it pours Rents just been increased If only the good days outnumbered the bad If only the bad died young In an ideal world we would still disagree But doing so would be fun Smile for the camera the one that can't stand ya You know the one that I mean Where every picture looks like a mixture Of hideous crass and obscene But never lean Afloat on a big lake boat hits a big wave After which you lose the oars And it never rains but it pours Now it's started to leak