Understand

Girl I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't wanted to be your man back then And you knew I fell for you but you Just broke my heart in two I was sad mad and broken on my bed Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med When I was met with a prescription of a bullet made of lead And when I woke up in an hour in a pool of my own sweat I said I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again So instead I took my pen and started writing evidence And whеn I started making sense I found that I had rеached the end Oh I'm upset I have no friends You wanna bet you're just pretend You're just a pet confined within the lines of writing You're not shit I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways I swear I did I said I talked to people 'bout the problematic life I lived They were my neighbors razor blades And different flavored pills I hate Therefore I'm not sure leave my last straw I'm so glad stuck in the past I said that Girl I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't wanted to be your man back then And so far I never held you with my arms So it's hard to be the one you aren't With instead filled with anxiety Always was a part of me guess I'm not cut out to be Somebody 'cause it's not me I'm not used to all the talk it was an introvert That had converted feelings into writing Used to cope with all my problems Using notes and lots of rhyming Used to hope for better days whenever nights would have me crying I'm not lying when I say that I would rather daily go back To the times I would try be the guy the people know I was fighting with the demons hiding far beyond my eyelids On an island full of violence in my head that I could pilot Oh the sun don't shine the skies turn gray I felt it coursing through my veins I said before I'm not okay But you don't listen anyway You know I tried you turned away You straight up lied right to my face You fucked my life ruined my day But you don't know so I'll say Nothing can fill this silence no one can love like I did You don't know so I'll say Nobody cares you lied it's no fair you still deny it So I'll say Nothing can fill this silence no one can love like I did You don't know so I'll say Nobody cares you lied it's no fair you still deny it So I'll say Girl I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't wanted to be your man back then And too bad I know I can't wake up Because I lost my weight and you don't give a fuck About me this could be a dream I can't see The things that you see so please oh Girl I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't wanted to be your man back then And you know I'll play along You were my home I wrote you songs And now you're dead to me effectively Removed yourself outside my dreams