Indoor Games

Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff Dusting plastic garlic plants They snigger in the draught When you ride through the parlour Wearing nothing but your armour- Playing Indoor Games. One string puppet shows amuse Your sycophantic friends Who cheer your rancid recipes In fear they might offend, Whilst you loaf on your sofa Sporting falsies and a toga- Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games. Your mean teetotum spins arouse your seventh wife Who pats her sixty little skins And reinsures your life, Whilst you sulk in your sauna 'Cos you lost your jigsaw corner- Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games. Each afternoon you train baboons to sing Or swim in purple perspex water wings. Come Saturday jump hopper, chelsea brigade, High bender-trender it's all Indoor Games. No ball bagatelle incites Your children to conspire, They slide across your frying pan And fertilize your fire Still you and Jones go madder Broken bones-broken ladder- Hey Ho