Miracle

My mummy says I'm a miracle My daddy says I'm his special little guy I am a princess And I am a prince Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky My daddy says I'm his special little soldier No one is as handsome strong as me It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge But I'm his little soldier Hup 2-4-3 My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face and it's plain to see Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me My daddy says I'm his special little soldier No one is as bold or tough as me Has my daddy told you One day when I'm older I can be a soldier And shoot you in the face One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions These days Special-ness seems de rigueur Above average is average go figure Is it is come modern miracle of calculus That such frequent miracles don't render each one un- Miraculous My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face and it's plain to see Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina She has never seen a prettier barrelina She says that if I'm keen I have to cut down on the cream But I'm a barrelina so give me more cake Take another picture of our angel in that costume that I made The role of tree has never been portrayed with such Convincing sway That's right honey look at mummy Don't put honey on your brother Smile for mummy smile for mother I think she blinked Well take another Have you seen his school report He got a C on his Report What We'll have to change his school That teacher's clearly falling short She's just delightful So precarious and insightful Might she be a little brighter than the norm I know to boys it's frightful form Take another My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face and it's plain to see Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me My mummy says I'm a miracle That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball You can be all cynical but it's a trust empirical There's never been a miracle a miracle a miracle as me A baby Mrs. Wormwood a child the most Precious gift the natural world can Bestow upon us has been handed to you A brand new human being a life a person A wonderful new person is about to come into your life and bring you love and Magic and happiness and wonder Oh Bloody 'ell Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind Push Mrs. Wormwood push I'll push you in a minute Each new-born life a canvas yet unpainted This still unbroken skin This uncorrupted mind Every life is unbelievably unlikely The chances of existence Almost infinitely small The most common thing in life is life And yet every single life Every new life is a miracle Miracle This is the worst day of my life Oh my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal My skin looks just revolting in this foul fluorescent light And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal semi-Spanish gown I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight I should be dancing the tarantella Qui mon fella italiano Not dressed in hospital cotton With a smarting front bottom And this horrible Miracle Smelly little- Miracle Weakly little ball of fat What the hell was that Will someone give this thing a bottle Or swap it for a later model Why do bad things always happen to good people Fine upstanding citizens like you and me Why when we've done nothing wrong Should this disaster come along This horrible weird looking Hairy little stinky thing With no sign of a winky-ding at all Miracle miracle She's a miracle a miracle every life's a miracle Beautiful miracle I have ever seen I can't find his frank and beans Every life is unbelievably unlikely The chances of existence almost infinitely small The most common thing in life is life And yet every single life every new life is a miracle Miracle Miracle My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face and it's plain to see Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me My mummy says I'm a miracle That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball You can be all cynical but it's a truth empirical There's never been a miracle a miracle a miracle as me My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm My daddy says I'm a bore My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ That kids like me should be against the law My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me Mum says I'm a good case for population control Dad says I should watch more TV