Bad Contestant

I'm a toothache I'm the saddest case I'm often looking round for my next mistake I'm your garden waste I've left no trace I'm only here for some hollow math debate I'm a bad bad contestant I ain't much but baby I could impress ya I'm a bad bad contestant I ain't no prince of love but give me a second I'm a dead end a budget hotel I'm pretty good at feeling sorry for myself I'm a deck chair Your cheap underwear A bad Christian who never goes to prayer I'm a bad bad contestant I ain't much but baby I could impress ya I'm a bad bad contestant I ain't no prince of love but give me a second And if you want funny I could be your jester honey And if you want rock n roll I can stop playing my slow songs If you want conversation I'll stay up with you all night I'm a bad bad contestant I'd go home with the lowest prize on TV A bad bad contestant You can find me finishing off the empties He's a bad bad contestant I ain't much but baby I could impress you He's a bad bad contestant They say the underdogs are always the best ones