i hate waking up (Feat. Rxseboy, SadBoyProlific, Alek Olsen)

When the sun widens its eyes I no longer know what's goin' on in here Ayy, ayy Wakin' up soon, but I wanna sleep Nothing is worse than leavin' these sheets Barely awake, still brushing my teeth Running the tap, rinse and repeat You were the lady and I was a tramp But showing you off, I felt like the champ I was your favorite, but fading away Leaving saliva all over my face Movies on Fridays no longer a thing Huh, I-I feel it sting What didn't I bring? 'Cause I brought a lot In case you come back, I'll be saving your spot Try making a difference and showing you life Stuck at your side, you stuck in a knife Pourin' you wine, you pourin' my blood Wipe out my lifе, in need of a flood, yeah I need a flood, I need an ending I'm scared of thе truth, so I'll keep pretending Don't need a reason, I've been defeated Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus I no longer know what's going on in here Yeah, ever seen somebody die? Ever cut your wrists with the bluntest of knives? Hit your friends, started texting goodbyes? Ain't nothin' left, but death in your eyes Sometimes people leave and the lesson's acceptance The older you get, harder it is to get it Some people look for you, some look for an exit Might hurt you, might hate it, but never regret it (I don't run from pain, it made me) How could I ever hate what had shaped me? Been to hell, how could death ever phase me? Wish 'em well, even when they all hate me Let me be, take my soul and finally set it free Spread my ashes on the seven seas Let me rest in peace, when I'm dead, deceased Swear, a grave's the only thing that's left for me I need a flood, I need an ending I'm scared of the truth, so I'll keep pretending Don't need a reason, I've been defeated Now I'm alone, I'll be looking for Jesus I no longer know what's going on in here (I have literally no hope, I have nothing left) Ain't a discography, this an effigy I'm a giant, so when I am dyin' You had better make sure that I'm buried seven feet My reflection deference to the left of me Cracking under pressure, don't let it get to me You can even break me down chemically Rappin' pain, the only thing that my chemistry Contains, I think that this meant for me I think it's meant for me, maybe not meant to be I'm sick and tired of fighting with enemies Tryin' to cry, she lied about everything I wanna die, but that's a petty thing I got a lot more I could be giving Some people hate me, that's a given Wonder what I could've done to act like the sun And put some good use to my energy I think I'm done, done, done, done I wanna run, run, run, run Tried to get some, some, some, some And I fucked up my funds, funds, funds, funds I got like two years to be me And I got like three days in a week Now I got like four things that I need And I bought like five pills, I'm asleep Yeah, you know I'm tired as shit I thought I'd die as a kid I brought a knife into school And they told me, "It is what it is" Should've been locked in a prison Talk about shitty decisions I had to roam, no intentions Told me to work for my pension, huh Nowadays, I've been getting paid 'Cause the music got me some attention, yeah